i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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