The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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