I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize