Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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