I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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