There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I believe in your delicious
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
