Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
