if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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