I forgot how hot balto sounded
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
cat food counts as protein by the way
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
