forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
