i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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