do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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