I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
