STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You are a booty call, not a friend.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
