yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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