If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
