you would pick up someone in the library
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
