she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
