So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
