Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
