Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
