He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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