I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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