D3 body, D1 cock
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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