Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
