i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
