Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
