Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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