Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
