My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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