Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I will be naked everywhere
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
