i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
