the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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