I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
