After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
