We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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