They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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