I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
