there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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