This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
