Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
