I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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