About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
