you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
