I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
