How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
