Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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