Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
