# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize