speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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