The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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