the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So vagazzling was a success
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize