she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
