I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
