Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
