Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I understand Curling. That high.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
