FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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