is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
