you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
