I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
