ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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