Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
