"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
