At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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